“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
In recent weeks, I have been getting calls from clients who have lost or are about to lose their jobs It doesn’t matter that they may not even have liked their job; now cast out from a job they thought they could count on for a livelihood; they are at a lost what to do next. Some are in denial stage while others may have moved on to anger and depression. Many are foreigners; for them, losing their jobs would also mean they have to move back to their home country with their family. Some feel they have lost their corporate identity and self-worth.
Are you in the same situation of having been retrenched or are facing some crossroad in your career or professional life? Here are some suggestions on how to get yourself out of it:
1. Acknowledge the Crisis
Losing a job can create as much emotional turmoil as losing a loved one; one may go through the different stages of loss, starting with denial, followed by anger and depression, before acceptance comes.
I know one 45-year old man who went through these stages recently, after losing his high paying job of 15 years. Initially, he refused to accept that he was now facing a professional crisis. He dismissed the whole situation as “just a bad patch” that he was going through, blames it all on an “Incompetent boss” and was confident that the ex-boss will soon be begging him to rejoin the company. “Right now”, he said, “all he wants is to take a long holiday and worry about it later.”
Two months after, when it finally dawned on him that his ex-boss was not going to call him back, he then became consumed with anger and hurt. He started bad-mouthing his former employer and told everyone he had resigned because of unethical practices.
When he first came to me, he was already in the depression stage. He could not understand why he, of all the staff in the organization, was let go. Was it because he was too frank and not adept at politicking? Was it some inadequacy on his part?
I told him that the first step towards moving forward is to acknowledge that he is indeed facing a crisis in his life. He was now 45, and it is a fact that many potential employers would prefer younger candidates to fill up job vacancies. No doubt experience counts, but many would-be employers are willing to forego that for they perceive as creativity that is unfettered by past experiences.
Once he has acknowledged that it is a professional crisis he is facing, he can then choose how to respond to it.
2. Explore the Options
I have always loved the way the Chinese expresses the word “crisis”. The Chinese character for “crisis” actually comprises two characters – one means “danger” and the other “opportunity.”
Oxford Dictionary defines “crisis” as “a time of intense difficulty or danger; a “turning point” for better or worse. The origin comes from the Greek word krisis which means “decision.”
Whichever way we choose to look at it, one unifying theme defines it: A crisis serves as a wake-up call to alert us to both danger (and turmoil) arising out of non-synchronicity in our lives, as well as to opportunities that can lead to greater things in life. The eventuality depends on the choices and decisions we make.
So take this as a wonderful opportunity to step back and detach yourself from the situation, take a new, fresh look at what you really want for your life and then make the move forward to the life you deserve!
3. Redefine Your Purpose & Passion
How many people really take the time to push the pause button on their lives in order to explore what is their true passion and purpose? Very few, I believe. People just tend to flow along in the path of least resistance – from school to college to job after job, with very little thought given to what they really want to achieve in their lives until it’s probably too late for them to do very much.
So count your blessings now that you have received this wake-up call and been given this opportunity to pause from the auto-drive mode you are in to explore and to discover your purpose and passion.
Reflect on the following questions:
a. Do you feel good about yourself, your life, and where you are going?
b. If time and money is not a problem, what would you be doing on a daily basis?
c. What do you really want for your life? What don’t you want? What have you settled for?
d. Do you feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life choices so far? If not, what would you change if you could?
Whether you are experiencing a professional crisis right now or not, let this article be a reminder for you to step back, re-assess where life is leading you and if you discover that you have been sacrificing meaning, fulfillment, balance and happiness in life for the outward trappings of “career success”, it’s time to regain control of your life!
This article was featured in Straits Times Recruit on 16 March 2010 and in Lifestyle magazine in October 2009.
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