CELEBRATE CHOICE, UNDERSTAND CONSEQUENCES

Life is simply a sum total of the choices we have made. As Zig Ziglar said, “You are free to choose, but the choices you make today will determine what you will have, be and do in the tomorrow of your life.”

Yes, we humans are all blessed with the freedom to choose, and in places where this freedom is restricted, we fight for our right to choose. However, we must look further than that. We must also understand that whatever choice we decide upon, there are consequences we will inevitably face.

I attended the much talked about and much publicised Aware EGM on 2nd May where the majority of the members managed to “throw out” the existing Exco at that time. Much of what the supporters of the “old guard” said is, in my opinion, valid. But there were also a substantial number – 700+ – who supported the then Exco. These people also had valid arguments, which unfortunately were unheard simply because they were non-activists (if there’s such a term) and thus not as vocal or “passionate” about their views.

Upon personal reflection, the lesson I take away is this: We need to be absolutely aware (no pun intended) of what those of us who are in more authoritative and influential roles are communicating to people under our direct influence. A case in point is freedom of choice in terms of sexual preferences. Yes, in a free country like ours, we respect an individual’s choice with regards to this, but be aware that we are also effectively communicating the consequences of such choices.

Veering away from the controversial issue of sexual preference, let us look at the more common example of smoking to illustrate what I mean. Let’s say we choose to smoke. That’s a simple decision or choice. You may then look at the consequences – like future health problems, but then, this is often ignored. Why? Simply because, the consequence is “iffy” and may only happen in the faraway future. You DO NOT drop dead the moment you light up a cigarette. It’s not an immediate consequence.

But lighting up that first cigarette is only the first in a series of what my mentor Jerry Clark calls, “simple errors in judgement.” One error will lead to the next (hey, I smoked one cigarette and I’m still alive!) and the next and eventually lead to a dreadful or even deadly consequence that you will surely NOT celebrate.

I am not anti-gay. When I was the editor of a woman’s magazine, I had three gay staff whom I was very close to. I used to hang out with them and their friends, listening to their stories and empathizing with their daily struggle for acceptance and recognition. One of them committed suicide a couple of years back; he was only in his 20s. I felt totally devastated by what happened. Did he make the right choices? Was he aware of the consequences when he made those choices?

I look forward to an even more effective Aware; as a member now (long delayed as I had wanted to join since it started but somehow had other priorities), I hope to be able to contribute both as a professional trainer and coach.